July 16, 2024

You are not alone.  Let me say it again.  You are not alone.  Let that sink in.

Caregiving can feel and be isolating, but did you know that 1 in 5 people in the US are currently caring for a loved one over the age of 18?  What this means is 53 million people are working (unpaid) to ensure the dignity and well-being of their loved one.  53 million people are caregivers.  

So while it may feel as if you are alone because caregiving can be isolating, there are many, many other people that are also caregivers struggling with similar challenges and feelings.

Here are a few other interesting facts about caregivers.

• About 61% of caregivers are women. 

• 89% of caregivers care for relatives.

• On average, caregivers provide 23.7 hours of care each week for about 4.5 years.

Which of these statistics do you resonate with?  I was actually surprised at the low number of hours caregivers provide each week.  In ALSP, I believe caregivers spend significantly more time caring for their loved one each week.

Feeling alone – or loneliness – is a natural response to being a caregiver. Though as a caregiver you likely spend a lot of time with your loved one, you now have less freedom to be with other people in your life. It is also possible that you feel a growing sense of responsibility that friends cannot relate to. Your very relationship with the loved one you care for has changed—instead of simply son, daughter, parent, or spouse you are now son and caregiver, daughter and caregiver, parent and caregiver, or spouse and caregiver. This, understandably, can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Loneliness makes us more prone to depression, our cognitive abilities can decline, and we become detached from day-to-day life.  We often skip exercise and social interaction, both of which are good for body and soul. We get less sleep, eat less healthily, are prone to substance abuse, we’re more stressed.

Frankly, it’s no wonder we, as caregivers, are stressed and depressed.  Caregiving brings with it intense strain financially, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Studies show that 17% of caregivers experience physical strain, 18% experience financial strain, and 36% experience emotional strain as a result of their role. I actually feel these stats are lower than reality.  Specifically in the ALSP community, the physical strain caused by transferring loved ones, changing clothing and diapers, and lack of sleep contribute to physical strain.  Also the ALSP community is prone to financial strain as many of our families have not built up wealth, are too young to qualify for government aid intended for elderly, and find themselves reduced to one income after being used to living on two incomes.  And finally, emotional strain is extremely high in the ALSP population due to the young age of onset, the loss of dreams for your life and that of your loved one, having to support young children who are losing a parent, the anger, and all the other negative emotions that come with such a diagnosis.   Which of these strains do you feel most acutely?

As you ponder these statistics and your own personal reality, I want you to remember that you need support and, thankfully, Sisters’ Hope is here to provide you with support and encouragement to get the care that you need. 

Sisters’ Hope Foundation offers monthly caregiver support group meetings and would love to have you attend.  We also have a private Facebook support group.  If you are not already a member, let us know and we will add you.  Meeting and interacting regularly with people who face similar challenges reminds us we’re not the only ones going through this. These groups are especially important if our friends or family don’t understand our role in caring for a loved one. We may make new, more empathetic friends in these groups, which strengthens our personal connections, decreases our loneliness, and lowers our stress levels.  

While it is important to engage with other caregivers, it is equally important to realize that sometimes as caregivers, we need more support than a group can provide.  If you are feeling extreme irritation, resentment, exhaustion, anxiety, and/or grief, it is time to seek professional help.  Professional counselors are excellent resources who can help you relieve loneliness and better manage your caregiving role. If you do not have a local therapist you are comfortable with, there are now online counselors available.  A reputable organization is betterhelp.

Let me end in the same way I started – You are not alone!  At Sisters’ Hope you have found a community that is here to make sure you never feel alone.  We are here to offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, advice, resources, support, community, connection, and hope.